Part VI: Persephone

“Persephone.” 

He looked intently at me when I described the wave I felt as “earth moving through me”.

“She’s the goddess of fertility sweetheart. She was the essence of the maiden. Then the earth opened up beneath her and Hades took her to the Underworld where she transformed into the Queen.”

Woah. I unwound my hair tie and ran my fingers through my hair. I had read the myth of Persephone and Hades as a child, and thought it was sad that she had to go live with the dead for half the year. Having been through labor, the story now took on a new vibrancy. When my contractions started I felt like I was being dragged, terrified, down into the underworld against my will. I was fighting to resurface, but the only way back was through.

But hang on a second. What would it feel like to go willingly? What if I, like Persephone, fell in love with Hades and relished going down into this dark, mysterious place of non-living, where I held power and dominion?

Persephone returns each spring, rising from the earth offering flowers and new growth in her wake. That sounds like the triumph I felt when I emerged from hell to give that last push when the mama bear awoke within me and I brought my little into the world bright and wide-eyed.

I had gone screaming into the dark, and though I found some of the queen within me in that last push, I was a far cry from the sexy courageous Persephone descending below the surface, both surrendering to and finding her power in the deep forces of the underworld.

There was something alluring about going through labor fully conscious, willing, and open. Furthermore, I felt so masculine in my life and so disconnected from my own femininity that I craved a deeper connection to that mysterious radiant aspect of myself.

I re-tied my hair as I looked out the window over the deep winter silence outside. I needed a guide, a mentor.

I racked my mind, but I had never heard anyone talk about giving birth like this before. Most methods I found were about rising above the experience by finding a happy place or going into self-hypnosis, and I wanted to go deeper. Brittney’s course had helped me get closer as I learned how to release and transform fear into a clarified vision. Now, I wanted to get into the mythic to access a deep transpersonal transformative space. I could think of one mentor that could help:

Persephone herself.

Of course. Her qualities, the arc of her journey…she had one map into the chaos and overwhelm of labor. And I had collected tool sets and skills from my own explorations that I could apply in concert with her guidance.

And Persephone was just the tip of the iceberg. As I looked out into the night sky and caught sight of a sliver of moon, I realized the depth of this feminine process. As I follow the rhythm of the moon’s waxing and waning every month, I am echoing the descent and re-emergence pattern that makes me, as a woman, so mysterious and captivating to my beloved.

Furthermore, I was witnessing deep transformative healing in the way I was carrying and preparing for birthing.

A little deep therapy to go with my labor. The thought made me laugh and my partner looked at me and smiled; he knew I was on to something big.

I saw that preparing for and giving birth with this intention was initiating me into a facet of womanhood, a profound expression of my radiant feminine self that not only honored the changes without (to my body), but also within. I could see that the whole process of pregnancy, labor, and delivery was an opportunity to reflect on where I have been, to let go of anything that is no longer serving me, and to step into my next level mama superpowers with triumph, joy, and full glorious presence.

I was ready. Ready to walk into the birthing center embodying both mastery and deep surrender.

Ready to feel like, look like, and be a goddess. 

Continue to Part VII: Labor & Delivery Round II, Part I