The Impact of Meditation on Positive Birth Experience

I ask every woman I work with to begin meditating for 3 minutes a day.

Cue the horror! :) Most women resist, which is completely normal, and kind of the point!

What they don't know is these three minutes can make all the difference between a painful, slow labor and a smooth feel-good birth.

Meditation forces us to slow everything down and focus within, a practice our monkey brain and every fiber of our over-worked, busy-busy-busy, people pleasing, productivity-identified self resists. 

When we begin to meditate several things often happen:

1. we feel uncomfortable in our own skin, wanting to get up and get away
2. we get lost in our thoughts and judgements and feel like we are failing
3. we start wondering how much longer until the timer goes off

Whenever a mama shares the experience of any of the above, I say, that's GREAT! Keep going! These are all normal experiences AND exactly the kind of internal struggles we encounter during labor and delivery, which is why meditation is a great training tool in birth prep. What happens in those initial three-minute meditations mirrors what often happens in giving birth: best intentions quickly turn to discomfort, judgement, and panic, which causes the mama to abandon focus and jump ship to external sources of distraction and relief, cueing the slow, painful, intervention-laden experience.

Sitting with and confronting these emotions and sensations in your body for three minutes a day creates a NEW nervous system, mental, and emotional response that you can take into birth to remain focused, calm, and present.

The more we sit with the discomfort, judgement, and impatience, the more we start to experience the benefits on the other side.

Let's address the three common experiences and why each is critical to birth prep.

1. we feel uncomfortable in our own skin, wanting to get up and get away

When I was in labor with my first baby, I responded to each contraction by tensing up my whole body and cringing upwards, almost as though I were trying to leave my body, gasping for air. I felt overwhelmed with horror at the extent of the unexpected pain that people told me would feel like period cramps, and I was desperate for a way out. In my childbirth certification training, I witnessed women in this same experience. No one intends or expects to come to this state, we can arrive by surprise, ambushed by sensations we never could have imagined, and are left with nothing but the thought of making it stop. 

Contrary to instinct, the path to calm and relaxation is actually TOWARD these unfamiliar sensations. In fact, you never even need to get to that state in the first place. The reason we arrive here is because the unfamiliarness of birth triggers an alarm in our body that we respond to with fear, creating tension and pain in an unfortunately reinforcing cycle.

When we meditate, we build a gap in our instinctual response, creating room for a different pathway and response to the sensations of labor. A response that we choose and train (over the course of 8-weeks) into our bodies so that when that first wave arises, we respond with relaxation, surrender, and even excitement.

Meditation builds rapport with our body sensations, teaches us to be comfortable and stay with ourselves, in other words, that it is safe to be in your body and to feel. In fact, it is much safer for you and your baby to be present with the sensations of your body because a) you will be far more comfortable, b) you will know if something is not right and be able to speak up, and c) you will be able to move and respond to labor to make it smoother and easier to birth your baby.

2. we get lost in our thoughts and judgements and feel like we are failing

I often hear the phrase, "I know I'm doing it wrong". This is ANOTHER reason we meditate, because as long as you're sitting in the practice, there is no way to do it wrong! I think in birth many of us feel like we don't know what we're doing, we outsource our authority to others, seeking comfort from doulas and midwives, advice from friends, mothers, and the internet, and our cues and next actions from doctors and nurses. The truth is most of the time you are the most well-equipped and knowledgeable person about your birth in the room. We just don't know it or trust ourselves.

When we sit for even three to five minutes a day we begin to build rapport with our body. Imagine giving someone you love undivided attention, simply listening, quieting your thoughts, and being entirely present. What do you think that would do for your relationship? How often do we do this for ourselves? The more rapport you have with your body and the more you listen, the more confident you will be birthing your baby. No one else can be in your body or feel the cues your body is giving you, not your doula, not your midwife, only you.

What would happen if you took full responsibility of your birth? I'm not talking about doing it alone, heaven knows we are grateful for modern medicine when we need it; I'm suggesting that you can be the authority on your body and your natural process. You can't do birth wrong. When we take judgement out, we open space for a different positive response, both emotionally and biologically, and discover confidence that leads to that incredible triumphant empowered feeling that many women miss.

3. we start wondering how much longer until the timer goes off

Ooooh mama, when we think we are on a timer for our births, we get ourselves into a lot of trouble, and pain! For example, one of the most important aspects of training for an induction is to realize that the timing of labor is completely different than that of spontaneous birth. We can spend 12 hours simply waiting for the induction agents to kick in, and then another 12 hours on average to get to 4cm dilated. Most women don't realize this and start to get frustrated, disappointed, and then despair which negatively impacts their labor and sends them into a stress and corresponding pain response that worsens and often results in cascading interventions to an emergency c-section.

On the other hand, when we allow it, a funny thing happens when a woman gives birth, she enters into a state of time-distortion. Ask any woman who has given birth what her concept of time was during labor, and she will say it was a bit hazy or completely non-existent. This is because giving birth is a sacred event. A woman moves out of the horizontal axis of linear time, and into the vertical axis of timeless-ness. Her perception of time is not the same. However, when we call her out of that space or when a mother focuses her attention on "how long it's been" or "how far there is to go" we begin to make judgements about our progress and pull ourselves out of the process, which contrary to our wishes, creates delays, stalling, and impedes labor and delivery. 

Training the mind, through a process such a meditation, to let go of the clock, and simply be present strengthens your ability to go with the flow in your birth, making the process faster, smoother, and far more enjoyable. It's so simple and seemingly miraculous!

As we train our minds to let go, and to be present in the sensations of our bodies, we cannot help but arrive at the key to a peaceful, comfortable, faster labor and delivery: surrendering to the process of birth!

The most important components of surrender in labor are:

• being present with what is: going TOWARD the sensations, rather than away
• letting go of agendas, schedules, and time
• having faith across the unknown that there is an other side

Arriving at surrender before labor even begins is one of the reasons why Beyond Birthing mothers have faster, easier, and more comfortable births. And this is a practice! You wouldn't run a marathon without training, or throw a wedding without planning. Getting the edge in birth to have an experience set apart from the rest requires preparation, training, and vision. 

Meditation is just one of many tools we use in Beyond Birthing to train and prepare your body, mind, and emotions for birth so you can design and experience the birth you desire. Come experience the difference in one of our group programs or work with Marin 1:1.

Want to discuss your birthing goals and get to know your options, schedule a call with Marin. This is a no-pressure conversation about what is possible, tailored to your unique concerns and hopes for your birth.

Happy Birthing!

Marin